Category: Personal

hello world

So … I have done something by myself that I never ever thought I could do!!! (And I am going to keep it to myself for a little while.) I did it for myself. I did it without help or support. I did it without getting someone else’s ok. I feel like it is the start of a new life!!!!

compassionate Jesus

The apostles gathered around Jesus, and told him all that they had done and taught. He said to them, “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a deserted place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they hurried there on foot from all the towns and arrived ahead of them. As he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. … When they had crossed over, they came to land at Gennesaret and moored the boat. When they got out of the boat, people at once recognized him, and rushed about that whole region and began to bring the sick on mats to wherever they heard he was. And wherever he went, into villages or cities or farms, they laid the sick in the marketplaces, and begged him that they might touch even the fringe of his cloak; and all who touched it were healed.

Mark 6:30-34, 53-56

I am always struck by how compassionate Jesus is in the gospels. Much more than me. It is something I aim to be but often fail. So, Lord, help me to be more like You!!!

strange day

Today, in many ways, has been a very strange day. I feel like I have not got started, like I have been chasing my own, for most of the day. The picture above is from the drive to church – it was so foggy that I had to really concentrate.

So now I am going to have a rest! Might watch some TV. Blessed Sunday to you all.

personal mission statement

I have been thinking about a personal mission statement. Something that will focus my life going forward. Not easy! I want to keep it short and general but focused. So I have started with this: I want to follow Jesus in sacrificial love.

I want to follow Jesus in sacrificial love.

I think I should make that fuller in my own mind, but it is a good starting point. If I make it too wordy and complex I will get lost in the details. So here is my starting point.

Do you have a personal mission statement?

rule of life?

I have been thinking more and more about updating my Rule of Life. I have read a couple of books. But most of all I think I have found a vocation. I am not ready to share it yet but it is pretty strong at the moment.

So, I found the blog for one of the books I have been reading, Crafting a Rule of Life. I have been trying to find a PDF of the rule template so that I can work on it. But no luck so far!

I was wondering: do you have a formal rule of life you follow? I mean one that is worked out and written down? Most people have a rhythm to their spiritual life. But have you sat down and wrote it down?

Anyway, Day 99!

life changes so fast

I never used to get those “Trigger Warning” starts to social media posts. Yet, recently, I have become more aware of triggers in my life. And I finally get the warning. When I am alone I am better but various people and contexts trigger me in various ways. Mostly they make me doubt myself, feel anxious, and then depressed. Of course, that is the start of it.

So now I have a problem: I know the trigger so should I avoid the people and contexts? Or should I simply be aware that the trigger is on the way? Should I simply prepare for the trigger and hope for the best?

I know I need to stand up for myself – say things that I need to be said. I need to be open about triggers and open to people that trigger me. And not be defensive about being triggered. But I feel I have hurt someone whom I care about by being triggered. It is not personal but it makes it hard for me to be around that person.

My past has made me hypervigilant – I am always on the look out for being a disappointment and a burden to people. I read too much into people’s words and actions, and I need to stop double guessing every situation. The double guessing triggers me! I do feel the normal reaction people have to me is disappointment.

Today has been an interesting day. I read some spirituality that I really needed to read. It has put me on an interesting path. I spent time with some nice people. But I have also had to face a major trigger and now I am struggling.

Anyway, I pray your day has been good.